I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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