I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
