My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
