I heard we made out
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
