Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
