do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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