seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
