I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
where are my eyebrows?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
