nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
