Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
