Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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