She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
