problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this just has baby written all over it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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