D3 body, D1 cock
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
