Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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