This girl is more easily done than said...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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