New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
