I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
