the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
