I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
