you guys were way drunker than both of me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
