I think I died a long time ago.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
