you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
