Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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