.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
