How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
