Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
