Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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