Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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