porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
