He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
