these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize