I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize