Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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