I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
