He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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