Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Less talking, more tequila
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Randomize
