He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
