no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
