Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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