My nipple is on Facebook.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
