The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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