you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
