She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
