If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
