i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
