p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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