and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
