it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
