He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
