Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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