I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
